best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
