so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
