What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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