Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
