Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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