why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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