U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize