good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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