I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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