So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
