I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
