big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend