bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life