Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
