We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then