you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something