if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck