White coat. Heels.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
