They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
