big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
