But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
