We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
