what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
