Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
