just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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