too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
