Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
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Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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