im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
