She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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