NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
