I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
