I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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