he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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