i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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