hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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