She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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