Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
