Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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