I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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