This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
