My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
