God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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