my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize