I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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