Your mouth is God's brothel.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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