Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
