We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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