If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
