I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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