and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
