I accidentally burped into my bong.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
