I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
