The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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