I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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