I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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