Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
