there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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