Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I woke up under a house in Key West
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
