4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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