Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This is my gift to your gina
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
