so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
