Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
