No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
